We realized early on that using Saturday as the random-task day was not going to work, but we really didn't come up with anything that worked better. So at random times, (like 10pm at night, say), and when our energy was already sapped and expectations were not clear, I might say, "I'm going to clean." Now, Brad knows me, and he knows that means that I expect him to clean, too. Guess what happens next? Frustration, crankiness, word-slinging, tempers, bitterness, and on and on the crazy cycle goes! 100% of the time it ends in my being all huffy wanting to get something, anything, accomplished and Brad thinking I'm a crazy person who should just go to bed.
Finally, though, we decided we actually needed systems in place for all those things that used to just fall to Saturday task-day. So, we're trying some of these systems out, such as cleaning the house on Wednesday night and rotating tasks, checkbook upkeep/budget-checking on Mondays and Thursdays. Saturday is the only day of the week our family has together, so that's family fun day, but it's also understood that if I need to get some baby food made or something cooked to freeze - or anything else that needs my undivided attention for a bit - I can usually get an hour or so to do that Saturday afternoon while "the boys" play. We are so relieved to have a plan finally. It's already taken a lot of burden off of the mental to-do list. Now, we'll see how our little systems pan out. I'll try to update in a future post. In the meantime, have you ever found systems important to set up in your home (like with roommates, singles? Or with spouses, marrieds? Or with kiddos, parents?). If so, what has worked best for your family that I could steal and try?
In the meantime, here's a goody:
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I think every household is so different.
ReplyDeleteAs a wife,who stays at home, I definitely need systems in order to successfully fill my role, and I am only JUST figuring this out too, haha.
Every day of the week I have a room I focus on (in addition to the regular upkeep tasks, like dishes, general pick up). I have NOT figured out laundry yet (Lord help me). I am planning out meals weekly, shopping via that menu, and cooking in the am or during nap, so it is not crazy town cooking at 4/5pm when bewitching hours are brewing.
Roland gets daddy time every day from 6-8pm. Sometimes it is family time. Sometimes I do those tasks you speak of that need full focus. Sometimes I just be me, haha
You mention cleaning on Wed and rotating tasks, perhaps that works when you are not always home/have work outside the home/etc. For me, our house would be disastrous, hahaha,but probably cause we are here more to make more messes to clean.
ReplyDeleteI am also behind on paperwork stuff...that is another system that needs hoaning. It was greatly organized BR (before roland), but this is one of those tasks I cannot do WITH roland, like a lot of other maintenance/errands/chores.
gsv - thanks for sharing! You absolutely have to do what works for your family! We do "tidying" every day around here, but the actual cleaning is on Wednesday after Samuel is in bed.
ReplyDeleteHa - laundry is the only thing I could handle for months! ... Because the machine does it... My system is quite simple - When Samuel wakes up or goes to sleep, I change out the laundry. Yes, I do laundry EVERY DAY! Sometimes it's just one load of diapers, sometimes it's 3 loads of clothes. We go through a lot of laundry around here!
Something I also learned the hard way. Systems seem to constantly need to be changed. I never could clean with Roland awake, and would do it once he was asleep, but now I can do it when he is awake, and prefer to, so when he is sleeping, I can relax without guilt, haha. Plus he sees cleaning isn't magic, haha. He "helps" me do the chores, or has "room time," or recently I have left him free range but he seems to get either help or play alone. I always play the same CD when I clean, and I think he has associated it with cleaning now, and my expectations while I am cleaning, haha, cause once I put the music on, he just goes and does his thing, haha.
ReplyDeleteAnyways, times keep changing. I look forward to a couple more years where I can assign him his own chores, and 3 people's hands in cleaning is always a good thing :)
I guess in regards to laundry, finding time to fold it and put it away is my issue, then somehow it ends up in laundry again.
gsv, maybe you can count your laundry routine as "recycling" haha!
ReplyDeleteI put the dry laundry on our bed so that I have to fold it and put it away, even if it's right before I go to sleep.
Yes, I think our systems will constantly be changing from here on out! A good lesson for me to learn.